It’s been 365 days since my last hangover…
You know what I don’t miss?
Waking up at 3:00AM with that familiar anxiety.
Dry mouth.
Heart racing.
Trying to replay conversations from the night before wondering what I said, who I offended, or if I needed to apologize for something I couldn’t quite remember.
That used to be normal.
Now it isn’t.
Because today marks 365 days since my last hangover… and 366 days since my last drink.
And honestly… that still feels wild to say.
What I’ve learned in a year of sobriety!
First, duh… I can do hard things.
I can’t go back and change the past all I can do is move forward and remember why I’ve made the new choices I will continue to make.
This year I didn’t burn my life down.
I just got tired of cleaning up my own messes.
No one threw me an intervention.
I just intervened on my own behalf.
I quit digging.
The most rebellious thing I did this year?
I stayed.
What sobriety actually looks like
There is no one size that fits all… no matter what anyone else’s advice says. There is no time frame for “feeling better.” And realizing it takes time to get back to feeling myself has been part of the journey.
You won’t wake up differently, but you do grow and change day by day.
There isn’t an official Glow Up
Things do get easier.
You’ll see things that make it seem so easy, but it is still a battle, and your journey is yours alone. Do it at your pace with grace.
Triggers… OUCH. If something triggers you say it, in your mind or out loud. But say what it is, and take its power away.
It’s okay to become a bit boring.
Sobriety is the new Drunk!
Why is saying I don’t drink harder than I don’t smoke or I don’t eat meat????
Quote I love from The Sober Curious Reset “Misery being a state we are culturally very comfortable with. Think about how much easier it is to share a sad story or to downplay our achievements, than to brag about something good that happened or highlight something we really like about ourselves.” It’s easier to bond when everyone feels like shit. Alcohol is like social lubricant and complaining is second nature. When you stop drinking you tend to see things through a more rose-colored lens. Not a fake way but more of a “damn you think that’s frustrating?” When it’s something simple, like it makes you feel bad. Again, EMPATHY is something that I’ve grown to have so much more of now that I’m sober.
Another quote I love from that same book. “Your relationship with the person in the mirror is the only guaranteed lifelong connection you’ve got” And loving yourself is what matters the most. Period.
If it seems hard, think of it like this: Love yourself like the person you love the most in the world. Are they perfect, nope… Do you love them anyways, yup!
What changed in me
I am NOT powerless… and this is where I find myself in disagreement with AA. Sorry Bill W.
My voice is powerful and I have something to share with the world.
I’m better than no one… I never thought I was, but I’ve learned a new deeper sense of empathy through the lens of sobriety.
I’m more in love with myself now than I ever thought was possible because of some of the darkest things I hid deep deep down inside that I’m now letting go of.
I have to keep reminding myself of how far I’ve come in the last 365 days. On days when I feel less than or like I’m lazy or down. I’ve made some of the biggest strides in my life just with this one thing.
I have to stop worrying about what others will think.
Say it! What you feel, out loud.
My mantra: I am rebuilding myself into what I’ve always been destined to be!
“We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianna Williamson
I find myself wondering if people look at me when I talk about how much better things are, if they are like Good Lord, I can do that too and still be able to drink, get over yourself…. My response? “Welp… good for you!”
Relationships, boundaries, and seeing clearly
Friendships and relationships with sobriety are much like having children or switching jobs. They change.
You may also realize that some friendships were never quite as connected as you once thought. Sobriety clears the lens, and sometimes that clarity shows you who has truly been present in your life and who has only been around parts of it. And they may no longer fit within your puzzle.
This journey isn’t for me to go on with everyone in my life.
People still don’t understand and some may never fully understand.
Boundaries are essential.
It’s okay to no longer allow access to your life for some.
Therapy has taught me many things. Sometimes not sharing is because I’ve never felt safe in the friendship or relationship. And protecting oneself is a must.
Growing also means Out-Growing and saying NO to anything that drains your energy or causes you anxiety!
You’re not ruining anyone’s night by saying no to drinking.
My Favorite quote most recently is “Rock Bottom is when you stop digging” and this yet another reason why I don’t jive with AA because according to the Big Book a person must hit rock bottom with their drinking before they need to consider quitting. And that you are “Powerless” over alcohol and all I can say is NOPE you are in charge of your life and you can put down the shovel whenever you want because you hold that POWER!!!
Accountability… The steps… “I’m sorry”. I do jive with this AA step. Making amends, it’s important.
Day 72 of the SCR (Sober Curious Reset) I cried I cried a lot! It asks you to write about things that have been on my mind. And start the sentence with “I feel overwhelmed by…” I’ll let you think about yours, but I personally find myself overwhelmed by the thoughts of my relationship with people ending because I’m becoming someone completely new. I also have found myself overwhelmed by my fear of truly sharing my story and the judgement that may follow.
Time, choices, and what no longer serves me
Things I’d go back and say yes or no to had I known what this life would look like.
I’m finding what no longer serves me and at the same time filling those voids with things that in every direction fill me more than those holes ever could hold space for.
I’ve wasted a lot of time. You too will learn you’ve just been wasting time… not drinking will create time, take it back!
The physical stuff nobody talks about enough
You will lose weight, but in the first few months (hell most of this year) you’ll crave everything sweet. Ice Cream was my go-to choice now, it’s Oreos!
Sugar cravings are so real!!! The science behind it is simply. You were getting sugar hits from the booze every time you drank, and as someone like me with a drinking issue I was intaking a lot of sugar! And now my body misses it. Which means in the evenings I’m diving into ice cream and sweet snack! It’s better than the alternative! But be mindful of your sugar intake causes well type 2 diabetes, heart disease and some forms of cancer are linked to excessive sugar consumption.
Sleeping, it’s weird but amazing!!! The first few months I was up so early, I think it’s because my body was used to the early anxiety wake ups. (PS those go away!) But then I got into an amazing sleep cycle. REM Sleep!!!! I wasn’t waking up with anxiety at 3:00AM. No, I still wake up earlier, but I find myself productive first thing in the Morning and may go lay back down for an hour after I’ve been up for 2. No matter the schedule, my sleep is 1000% better!
D.O.S.E Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and Endorphins. Your DOSE of feeling good! Since dancing boosts all four. I find myself turning up the music in the middle of the day when I’m starting to feel a lull. I’m working to create a 1 Year Playlist!
What helped me
Some books don’t make sense at that exact moment but then fit months later.
My recommendation:
• Quit like a woman
• The sober curious reset
• The unexpected joy of being sober.
• The Let Them Theory
• The 5 Second Rule
Books, people, and podcast will tell you things like “Meditate every day”, or something as simple as “brush your teeth every night” But forcing yourself into those boxes can lead to a spiral if you forget one time. It sets up expectations that you’re going to feel defeated if you fail a simple task like meditating or brushing your teeth, then your brain may tell you if you can’t even do this then how the hell are you going to stay away from alcohol. You still can and fail but make sure you’re giving yourself grace for imperfections!
My go to NA’s Virgin Mules, FRE – Champagne, Ultra Zero, THC Drinks (because I’m Cali Sober)
Allegiant Air has a Mocktail list on their flight menu 😊
In the Sober Curious Reset, you’re asked to write a script for a TV ad for alcohol as a medication… you can create your own here, but for me the side effects were so comically listed I had to ask myself why the FUCK are people drinking! My script “May cause Cancer” should have been enough! But pepper in “DUIs, Vomiting, Regret, and not being able to take things back you wish you could. If you’ve ever felt any of those side effects or the million others maybe revisit your relationship with alcohol yourself.”
The only cure for a hangover is to never drink again… SCR asks you to think back to the worst hangover you’ve ever had and repeat this activity anytime you’re tempted. All I can say to this is No Thank You Never Again!
I’m not a yogi… even sobriety couldn’t bring it out of me. I do love a good meditation session or a sound reset with binaural sounds.
Mental health, identity, and why this mattered so much
Alcohol abuse and mental health have been linked hand and hand. I’m working on doing more studying on all the science but it’s 100% true that without alcohol, I personally am finding my mental health in a much better state.
Drinking society is much like a cult… false sense of the need and hard to escape!
Being laid off- before sobriety would have been a complete bender. A total shit show. Now, if it had happened earlier in my journey I don’t know if I would have been as strong. But as it happened 8 months into my sobriety, I felt strong and unbreakable. I knew it was just a recalibration of what my life story was meant to become. Working at Amazon is like wearing a gold medal. I was employed by the largest, most world-renowned company. I had accomplished that. No one will ever be able to take that away from me. But I could have seen it as a failure, and I chose not to, because it was not! I was 1 of 30,000 people effect by the Amazon layoffs in the last 4 months.
What was always a FLIGHT response, sobriety has shown me my ability to FIGHT. When I say Fight, I mean process in a rational and an appropriately emotional way. I’m growing more and more!
When asked reasons I could think of to drink, I would now say NONE whatsoever. It used to be when I was happy, sad, angry, fearful, anxious, etc… Being laid off sober was something I never thought I’d be able to make it thru and here we are on the other side!
My favorite apps:
- I Am – a daily affirmation app.
- Insight Timer
- Talkspace
- Calm
- Fabulous
- I Am Sober
Drinking was part of who I believed I was. It was a part of everything, celebrations, grief, anxiety, excitement, stress and everything in between. I’m relearning who I am in every one of those situations as a sober individual. It’s been beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
Why I’m sharing this
Building a community: Yes, the internet can be a relief finding groups and chats about sobriety and finding a safe space to share… but reminder, nobody has “the answers”. Only I hold the truths I must face.
It’s okay for me to share my story… the alcohol industry spends literally BILLIONS on spreading the message that booze is an essential part of life. As there are people in my life and those I’ve yet to meet, that would benefit from being even Sober Curious. All I can do is lead by example and be vulnerable enough to share my story in hopes that it might help someone feel less alone.
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell
I am the chief beneficiary of the rewards of my sobriety! And I hope to see a ripple effect on others, and I hope to change the world and create a new movement. I want you to feel less alone, heard, comforted by my stories and know there is always hope!
Things I’m proud of
It’s okay to be proud of myself. The word Smug is defined as “contentedly confident in one’s ability, correctness or superiority; complacent.” And loving oneself can look like shining a light on your achievements!
My proud moments
• I’m 1 year AF as of March 8th, 2026.
• I’ve lost weight.
• I sleep so much better (Colin even says I’ve quit snoring all together!)
• I’ve remodeled so many things around our house.
• I’ve created Highly Relatable
• I’ve traveled sober.
• I’ve made peace with so many things.
• I’ve set boundaries.
• I’ve apologized to those who mean the most to me.
Year 2
For 365 days now I’ve been able to abstain from drinking. If I’ve spent 24 hours a day every day for 365 days, I can work out for 30 mins every day and drink at least 1 bottle of water a day. This is my year 2 pledge to myself! I know it seems simple, but this will now be layered on to the 365 continued days a year staying sober.
Things I’m going to do that I’ve always wanted to:
Learn another language, become a podcaster about sobriety, hit up all 50 states and 20 more countries in the next 10 years, see the northern lights in Ireland or Alaska or somewhere cool! And finally make Highly Relatable a household name.
My podcast dream guest list:
• Mel Robbins
• Jay Shetty
• Nikki Glaser
• Jason Bateman
• Will Arnett
• Sean Hayes
• Theo Von
• Tom Holland
• John Mayer
• Lala Kent
• Carl Radke
• Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell
• Craig Conover
• Jelly Roll
Words That Found Me This Year
Some of my favorite quotes I’ve found during this journey: (so many screenshots)
• My substance abuse affected others; so, will my recovery.
• I live sober out loud, so others know they’re not alone and that healing is possible.
• You’ll upset people when you start doing what’s best for you.
• I don’t share my sober days to show people that I can do it. I share them to show others that they can too.
• Your sobriety will inspire people you didn’t even know were watching.
• I can do nothing for you but work on myself. You can do nothing for me, but work on yourself.
• Putting booze into your brain and body is like filling a petrol engine up diesel. (This was from The Unexpected joys of being Sober, she’s from London and says things like teetotal which means sober in British I guess!)
• Sometimes we don’t know HOW we make it through something, until we do.
• The universe changes caterpillars in butterflies, sand into pearls, and coal into diamonds using time and pressure. It is working on you too.
• Anybody can choose to escape. Anybody can numb out. But not everyone can sit with themselves and feel every human emotion. Sobriety isn’t weak… it’s disciplined. It’s Rare. It’s brave as HELL.
• If it scares you and excites you at the same time, it’s probably your next move. Dare to try.
• It’s okay if your biggest flex this year is “I didn’t abandon myself when things got hard.
• Stigmas grow in the shadowlands.
• Nothing truly great ever happens in your comfort zone.
• Next time you feel anxious about stepping outside your comfort zone remind yourself: “I feel this way because it’s new, not because I can’t do it.” Keep going.
• You can’t have a new reality with an old mentality.
• 2025 – Not my best year, but I learned a lot.
• Don’t be afraid to start over again, you may like your new story better.
• I didn’t quit drinking… I outgrew the person who felt the need to drink alcohol.
• There is no deadline to becoming who you want to be.
• Imagine being bit by a snake and instead of trying to help yourself heal and recover from the poison, you try to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you and prove to it that you didn’t deserve that.
• “You’ve changed” No. I’ve healed, I’ve set boundaries, I learned from my mistakes and grew, I stopped settling for less and started putting myself first.
• I stopped drinking because every time I tried to control my drinking, I couldn’t control my drinking.
• You change the world by being yourself.
• Being bored is how you make space on your inner vision board.
• You will never regret not drinking.
• Very few friendships weather our personal evolutions fully intact.
• Having solid boundaries: another commonly reported side effect of not using booze to make the situation you’re in more bearable.
• Feeling happy is your birthright. You get there through learning that it’s okay to feel sad.
• The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are.
• Sanity and clarity are more important for me and I’m willing to give up a lot of shimmer for it. I’m willing to have more boring friends, who are sane.
• Normal drinking is often problem drinking.
• What you’re craving is not alcohol – it’s connection.
In Closing…
If you’re reading this, ask yourself: Would my life, be better without alcohol? The answer for me was Yes. The mental clarity, the calm, the productivity and the comfort with discomfort is unexplainable but so real!
I’m writing a message in a bottle for myself to open on March 8th, 2027! And every year after that!
I’ll be working on my boozestory for an upcoming post. Stay tuned.
XOXO – Brittany Jo